I discovered that wordpress has an app and I decided to give it a try because since I challenged myself with being in a bilingual format I apparently lost a little bit my appetite to write in here…
So, what’s today’s topic? Honestly, currently I’m 100% natural in texting. This means, I don’t have anything in my mind…
Today I received a news that made me think about life and death issues again. I lost a relative… Automatically, this made me think about how much time passed since my father has gone and today how I feel about it.
Life and human mind is very complicated and worth to be investigated in my own opinion because when make a self assessment, I feel fine and better than my own expectations from myself, but feel guilty about it at the same time. There are so much things are going on in these days and in my mind, I often find myself as repeating “I wish my father was able to see that!” All of a sudden, with the impact of his loss, there are huge lessons learnt and novel actions, consequent changes may be with relative achievements. However, I feel guilty because I realized that I could do everything now I’m doing while he was with me but I acted like a spoiled kid of his… I don’t know, some of the close circle people argued that “ the essence of your father and daughter relationship was like that there is no one to blame.” But even though, the reality is like this, it is not so possible relieve with such arguments for me… All I can do is these days is to talk in my prays and wish for that at least he can see that I’m a better person since he’s not with me anymore…
For my part, all I can say is that don’t let your beloved ones undermine your potential even if their intentions are so good that you feel their love at the first sight. Apparently and without any intention, parents’ over love and care may damage your actual potential. Please take the whole responsibility of your own life with the good and bad outcomes. Please try not put burden on the shoulder of others while the whole decisions is only your own primary concern. Please never stop trying even if you are not 100% sure about yourself. Eventually, life will bring you a point where you need to be for your own sake.
I think I know much more better now why I am so angry and aggressive deep down… thank you for reading this and help me to be sure about it. The native version of this writing will not be the exact same one because I believe I need to direct my feelings and thoughts as they are as possible… If I can find time, I will put the Turkish version in here 🙂
Thank you so much for reading and inspiring!!!
Very Best Wishes,
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